Thursday, April 22, 2010

Traditional Thursday: Weddings and Anniversaries

Today is our 21st wedding anniversary!  I can't believe it has been that long...21 years!!

Well....since 21 has always been my favorite number, I thought I would take the time today to really reflect on this special occasion....and write about funny/touching moments from the past.  (By the way....If you haven't read Beth Dunn's comments on her wedding and courtship, go to her blog and do so.  They are wonderful!)  Now don't worry!  I won't cover 21 things....but perhaps the top five that come to mind....

1.  April 22nd, our anniversary is also Earth Day...which is very ironic, because although I am a big recycler and believe in being "green," my husband is not into it at all.  He does like it however, when I show him how we can re-purpose things and save money.  All husbands like it when their wives save money!  (Although I have noticed they are less interested in saving when it comes to things they want....LOL)

2. Speaking of re-purposing:  You may have read about my dress last week....It was chosen by my mother ("Miss Betty") and her sisters, back in the early 1950's, and has been a family treasure every since.  I love, love, love that dress! It was an honor to wear it.... and speaking of Miss Betty....

3.  Miss Betty was in full "Queen" mode for my wedding.  After awhile, I just gave up arguing with her over the details where we disagreed.  And, 21 years later, I have to admit...She was right about everything we disagreed on.  What was I thinking??  She was always looked to as the last word on questions of protocol and etiquette by members of our family and friends alike, so I should have known better than to question her. :)

Her nickname was "The Queen" or "The Queen Mother," and I told my husband that I was going to honor her as such as part of the wedding.  He didn't believe me at first..... but he thought it was great that I did!  He adored Miss Betty and Miss Betty adored him.  He always thought she was so funny....And after all, this was the woman, who, when my dear husband telephoned to speak to my father to ask his permission before proposing to me, said this:

"I'll just tell you what my father said when Allen asked for my hand in marriage....'If you can afford her, you can have her!'"

My husband said he thought she was joking.....and he is still recovering from finding out she wasn't!!)

4. Thinking about weddings in general and how they have evolved over the past couple of decades.....A wedding is a singularly special time in one's life.....Family and friends from childhood through adulthood all gather together to celebrate with you. "With" is the key word here, but it is left out more times than not these days. Why is it that some people (mostly brides and their mothers) think that they are the ones being celebrated, and not the marriage itself?

We all know that weddings don't have to be dog-and-pony shows to be meaningful and memorable.....yet I have known MOB's (Mothers of the Bride) to plot and plan to out-do their friends' daughters' weddings.  And those poor MOG's (said facetiously) who can "only control the rehearsal dinner."  Yikes!!   Sometimes it seems like insanity, and the bar keeps being set higher as to what constitutes "going over the top."  What's so great about going over the top?  The loveliest weddings I have ever attended/been a part of have been those that have been understated and tasteful....totally "classic preppy"....but rapidly a vanishing breed....

Perhaps I am missing something.....What do you all think?  Can you figure out why all these shows about "bridezillas" and wedding circuses seem to be so popular these days?  I can't figure out if people are watching them because they are so horrible and they can't believe what they are seeing, or if they are looking for ideas of things to include in their own weddings?  I am completely at a loss as to why some of these MOB's are all about having "the" wedding and doing everything "just right".... and then end up drunk on the dance floor at the end of their special day, making a complete spectacle of themselves?  I just don't get it...and I have seen it in places I was not expecting it.... To quote Miss Betty, it is pretty "T-Tacky!"  When I am called for wedding advice, which still happens sometimes because of my background in etiquette/protocol, the very first thing I say is "First of all....relax!" And remember, you are out to entertain graciously and celebrate beautifully...not to impress and show-off."

5. And speaking of gracious entertaining....One of the people I missed the most at my wedding was my godmother.  No one entertained more graciously than she.  I will write more about her in the future....but suffice it to say....she was AMAZING!  She was a world traveler and a real "Auntie Mame" to yours truly.  She passed away a few years before I was married, but we had talked about what my wedding might be like one day....and I always said I was going to have my wedding cake be covered in orchids....which was so "her."

Well, that's what I did....and my godfather brought a beautiful old tablecloth for the cake table and gave me a Tiffany & Co. cake server in my English King pattern as a wedding present.  My godmother was definitely there in spirit, if not in person!

This photo is of my godparents (far left) at the airport seeing my parents off after their wedding in 1958!
I'll write a little about our honeymoon and the pink turtle, the inspiration for the blog logo, later....

Today I am off to my Aveda salon.... for a complete overhaul.....
One has to look one's best on these special days!
Remember what I told you Sunday about The Women?  Well, I wasn't kidding...Enjoy!


  1. I think your dress is absolutely beautiful. How special to be able to wear that dress. I agree with you about the "over the top" weddings. Why do people have to one up each other. One should just set a goal to have a nice tasteful wedding that is within their budget. Most of the time, it is the little things that make is special. I love your references to "The Women".

  2. I love this post! Happy anniversary to you and your dear husband. Your thoughts on weddings are right on target. I wish people would think more about the marriage ahead and less about creating a spectacle for a day.

  3. Love the wedding dress and loved the curtsy! Happy 21st anniversary to you!

  4. Happy Anniversary, Liz and Greg! Congrats on 21 years.

    My Mom is also known as "The Queen". Too funny that we have that in common too.

    Thanks for sharing your wedding with us. What a gorgeous dress, bride and wedding party.

  5. Wishing you the happiest of anniversaries!
    Loved the post (as always), you were a stunning bride!
    Enjoy your overhaul!

  6. My daughter got married 2 years ago. It was an outdoor wedding on a bluff overlooking the ocean. It was an evening suit and I chose a beige evening suit that I found at Neiman Marcus. While the suit was pretty, it was very understated as I am known in my family as being glamorous and colorful. At first my daughter was disappointed that I didn't select something that was 'me' and demanded that I take it back and get something else. But I refused, explaining that her wedding was solely 100% about her and I was perfectly happy to fade into the background. I also have a tendency to be 'the Queen' but I sat down and shut up and let her make the plans. My husband would laugh as he wrote the checks and said, "This is killing you, isn't it?" I'd just smile back (evilly)and bite my tongue off.

    The princess got what she wanted and at the end of the day, what I wanted or didn't was no big deal.

    By the way, where are you in Virginia? I'm in Alexandria - until I can further south after dear son graduates high school!


  7. (I couldn't find your e-mail address).

    Please do have your friend pass along to TG. I told Anne (the producer) yesterday that I had him in mind while writing False Victim. At this point in his career Lifetime might be beneath him, although I have seen some big stars in their movies.

    I have nothing to do with casting, BUT if TG knew I was interested in him, maybe I could tell Anne and her 'people could talk to his people'.